reading my helsman report the first time gives you a nice and sweet feeling..

but upon reading it the second time.. you start to realise all the hidden meanings between the words...
esp. the last sentence.. i think that was the main point mr boy and the rest of the teachers were trying to drive at..
my helsman report this time really shows the depth of the teachers' unds of me..
and yes.. as what alicea said.. they said nothing but the truth..
it was very long as usual and it covered all my flaws and weaknesses.. and it jerked me to reality and set me into deep thoughts and got me to reflect about my life..

sometimes i feel my life is made up of nothingness... like really... i value my life a lot so i'm trying to live it in such a way that i can feel a certain sense of self-fulfillment.. but i decided that I want a change in my life.. speaking to a few people really woke me up.. really made me more clear where i'm moving towards...

i really thought hard on the more impt things in life esp. relationships with people... it made me realised these were the things that were truly impt..
but i now in my heart.. certain things won't change..
the teachers have eyes.. and they are worried..
so they are telling me... and i'm truly grateful to them..
cos i have been stuck in this vicious cycle for many many weeks.. questioning my presence and how i actually contribute to mother earth...
i was getting desperate last week and I wna grow and fight for the things that mean the most to me
i dont wna leave it hanging like that.. i dont want problems to stay.. i wna uproot every single one of them and kick them out of my life..

the complexity of life is defined by no one except yourself.. how simple things become is up to me to decide... i live life my way and i so seriously wna thank the friends who have always been my side emphatising with me and not forsaking me in times of need.. although i know i have failed on my part but thanks for always being there providing me your ever so wise advices and suggestions.. being my greatest source of inspiration my standing ground and yada yada.. thanks jing and alicea special thanks to chia jaime

i'm starting to see light now.. and i'm holding on to this last glimpse of hope..
i'm just giving myself another shot to feel my worth and prove them i'm just not some wastrel whiling her life merely to just deplete the carbon dioxide content of our poor mother earth...


pss.. i get offended when i'm labelled a bimbo and when people niao me... even when unintentionally..